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Three guys were drinking in a pub. Two of them were talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remained quiet.



After a while one of the first two turned to the third and said, "Well, what about you? What sort of control do you have over your wife?"



The third fellow said, "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."



The first two guys were amazed. "Wow! What happened then?" they asked.



The third man took a healthy swallow of his beer, sighed, and uttered, "She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.'"

A tourist in Canada celebrated the 4th of July by getting stone drunk. He became obnoxious and disorderly, and was hauled into court for disturbing the peace.

"How do you plead?" the Judge asked.

"Not guilty!" replied the accused.

"How can you plead 'not guilty. You're drunker than a skunk," the judge said.

'"Well, you see, it's like this, your honor. I was only following orders. When I got into town, there was this big sign that said, DRINK CANADA DRY. And that's what I did."

if you don't laugh at this one, you're not breathing...





A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides, and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The girl was wearing a firefighters helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.

The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. 'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration.

'Thanks,' the girl replied.

The firefighter looked a little closer.

The fireman noticed the girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles...

'Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster.'



The little girl replied thoughtfully, 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.'

COMMENTS

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cadrewolf
22:05 Jul 01 2009

Oh I love that

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POST COMMENT

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on

scaffolding on the 20 th floor of a building.



They were eating lunch and the Irishman said,! "Corned beef and

cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm

going to jump off this building."



The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get

Burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."



The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again! If I get a bologna

sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."



The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and

cabbage, and jumped to his death.



The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a Burritos, and jumped, too!



The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death

as well.



At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping.She said, "If I'd known

how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given

it to him again!"



The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or

enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated Burritos so much."



Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife

said, "Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch."